翻译(100分)

翻译那篇 REAL PROGRAMMER

那篇?

俺也想试试.

在那里?

什么样的东东?

unoffical delphi news

那是一片笑话吧？

有可能.
CJ最有幽默感,我佩服CJ *_^

Yes it is joke
For it's in Unoffical delphi news so this quession is something
a quession about delphi.

1、本文章是在某控件的 HELP 文章中发现的；
2、多个中外 DELPHI 站点都发布了此文章；
3、作为 E 文专业的 CJ 竟然有看不懂的地方，所以心情急噪，当然写不好程序；
4、这里有个“请您翻译”栏目；
综上所述，这个问题也算是个 DELPHI 问题的问题贴到这里也不算过分吧？
如果过分了点，那么希望我出的 100 分能够多少给予弥补。
学计算机当然要学好 E 文，这也算是给大家提高英语做个练习吧
Real Programmersdo
n't Write Specs
Real Programmersdo
n't write specs -- users should consider themselves lucky to get any programs at all and take what they get.
Real Programmersdo
n't comment their code. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand and even harder to modify.
Real Programmersdo
n't write application programs;
they program rightdo
wn on the bare metal. Application programming is for feebs who can'tdo
systems programming.
Real Programmersdo
n't eat quiche. In fact, real programmersdo
n't know how to SPELL quiche. They eat Twinkies, and Szechwan food.
Real Programmersdo
n't write in COBOL. COBOL is for wimpy applications programmers.
Real Programmers' programs never work right the first time. But if you throw them on the machine they can be patched into working in "only a few" 30-hour debugging sessions.
Real Programmersdo
n't write in FORTRAN. FORTRAN is for pipe stress freaks and crystallography weenies.
Real Programmers never work 9 to 5. If any real programmers are around at 9 AM, it's because they were up all night.
Real Programmersdo
n't write in BASIC. Actually, no programmers write in BASIC, after the age of 12.
Real Programmersdo
n't write in PL/I. PL/I is for programmers who can't decide whether to write in COBOL or FORTRAN.
Real Programmersdo
n't play tennis, or any other sport that requires you to change clothes. Mountain climbing is OK, and real programmers wear their climbing boots to work in case a mountain should suddenly spring up in the middle of the machine room.
Real Programmersdo
n'tdo
cument.do
cumentation is for simps who can't read the listings or the object deck.
Real Programmersdo
n't write in BLISS, or ADA, or any of those pinko computer science languages. Strong typing is for people with weak memories.
Real Programmers only write specs for languages that might run on future hardware. Noboby trusts them to write specs for anything homo sapiens will ever be able to fit on a single planet.
Real Programmers spend 70/% of their work day fiddling around and then
get moredo
ne in the other 30/% than a user could getdo
ne in a week.
Real Programmers are surprised when the odometers in their carsdo
n't turn from 99999 to 9999A.
Real Programmers are concerned with the aesthetics of their craft;
they will writhe in pain at shabby workmanship in a piece of code.
Real Programmers will defend to the death the virtues of a certain piece of peripheral equipment, especially their lifeline, the terminal.
Real Programmers never use hard copy terminals, they never use terminals that run at less than 9600 baud, they never use a terminal at less than its maximum practical speed.
Real Programmers think they know the answers to your problems, and will happily tell them to you rather than answer your questions.
Real Programmers never program in COBOL, money is no object.
Real Programmers never right justify text that will be read on a fixed-character-width medium.
Real Programmers wear hiking boots only when it's much too cold to wear sandals. When it's only too cold, they wear socks with their sandals.
Real Programmersdo
n't think that they should get paid at all for their work, but they know that they're worth every penny that theydo
make.
Real Programmers log in first thing in the morning, last thing before they go to sleep, and stay logged in for lots of time in between.
Real programmersdo
n't draw flowcharts. Flowcharts are after all, the illerate's form ofdo
cumentation.
Real Programmersdo
n't use Macs. Computers which draw cute little pictures are for wimps.
Real Programmersdo
n't read manuals. Reliance on a reference is the hallmark of a novice and a coward.
Real Programmersdo
n't write in COBOL. COBOL is for gum chewing twits who maintain ancient payroll programs.
Real Programmersdo
n't write in FORTRAN. FORTRAN is for wimpy engineers who wear white socks. The get excited over finite state analysis and nuclear reactor simulations.
Real Programmersdo
n't write in Modula-2. Modula-2 is for insecure analretentives who can't choose between Pascal and COBOL.
Real Programmersdo
n't write in APL, unless the whole program can be written on one line.
Real Programmersdo
n't write in Lisp. Only effeminate programmers use more parentheses than actual code.
Real Programmers distain structured programming. Structured programming is for compulsive neurotics who were prematurely toilet trained. They wear neckties and carefully line up sharp pencils on an otherwise clear desk.
Real Programmers scorn floating point arithmetic. The decimal point was invented for pansy bedwetters who are unable to think big.
Real Programmers know every nuance of every instruction and use them all in every Real Program. Some candyass architectures won't allow EXECUTE instructions to address another EXECUTE instruction as the target instruction. Real Programmers despise petty restrictions.
Real Programmersdo
n't use PL/I. PL/I is for insecure momma's boys who can't choose between Cobol and Fortran.
Real Programmersdo
n't like the team programming concept. Unless, of course, they are the Chief Programmer.
Real Programmers have no use for managers. Managers are sometimes a necessary evil. Managers are good for dealing with personnel bozos, bean counters, senior planners and other mental defectives.
Real programmers ignore schedules.
Real Programmersdo
n't bring brown bag lunches to work. If the vending machine sells it, they eat it. If the vending machinedo
esn't sell it, theydo
n't eat it.
Real Programmers think better when playing Adventure or Rogue.
Real Programmers use C since it's the easiest language to spell.
Real Programmersdo
n't use symbolic debuggers, who needs symbols.
Real Programmers only curse at inanimate objects.

关于这个问题，已经有人将其翻成中文并且发表在bbs的Humor版中，
至少我看到过：真正的程序员不写文档、不写注释...去水木清华站
看一看,你会找到的

谁去找了贴来就有分
那个木木情话在那里？

from codeguru,原来有25条.

23. 程序里一定有病毒!
22. 一定有人改了我的代码.
21. 程序能干活,可是没有经过测试.
20. 那早就有了,只是没有经过测试.
19. 我没有把它改好么?
18. 这个程序不能干那个
17. 我不能把所有的程序都测试了!
16. 那只是一个不走运的偶然事件.
15. 那程序很快就好.
14. 当然,我得作些小小的修补.
13. 我就准备好.
12. 嗯..那只是一部分..
11. 一定是你执行的有问题.
10. 好的,好的,程序会及时完成的.
9 . 你的测试数据有问题.
8 . 我没有动那个模块!
7 . 用户又犯错了.
6 . 操作系统更新了?
5 . 机器好像又崩了.
4 . 这怎么可能?
3 . 昨天这程序还好好的.
2 . 我从来就没有听说过...
1 . 奇怪.......

乱七八糟，我只知道Real Programmers用Delphi越用越上隐!

真正的程序员
------------
真正的程序员从来不写注释，难写的程序必定也难读。
真正的程序员不写应用程序，他们直接从最底层的裸机开始编程。他们认为应用程序编程是那些不会系统编程的人干的活。
真正的程序员不画流程图，流程图是没文化的人的文档，居住在山洞里的人才在岩壁上画流程图。
真正的程序员不读手册，依赖手册是无知和懦弱的表现。
真正的程序员从不一次做对，他们可以连续30个小时坐在机器前面给程序打补丁。
真正的程序员从不按早9晚5的生活过日子，如果你在早上9点看见一个程序员，那一定是他一夜未眠。
真正的程序员比用户还清楚用户需要什么。
真正的程序员喜欢兼卖爆米花，他们利用CPU散发出的热量做爆米花，可以根据米花裂的速度听出正在运行什么程序。

受宠若惊，竟然惊动了 会长 大侠
不过好象缺了几条
MayDay(五月天：）)：你的翻译怎么一半一半的？

我那有那么多闲工夫翻译这些废物, 这是从 www.csdn.net/joke/ 下面搬来的, 那里
还有很类似的废话, 你对他们感兴趣不妨去看一看

真正的程序员不按规则写程序
Real Programmersdo
n't Write Specs
真正的程序员不按规则写程序 —— 用户会觉得他们能拿到随便什么程序就不错了！
Real Programmersdo
n't write specs -- users should consider themselves lucky to get any programs at all and take what they get.
真正的程序员不写注释，如果程序难写，那么也一定难读，当然更难维护。
Real Programmersdo
n't comment their code. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand and even harder to modify.
真正的程序员不写应用程序，他们直接从裸机上开发，不会写系统程序的菜鸟才写应用程序。（我绝对不同意！！！ — 李颖 注）
Real Programmersdo
n't write application programs;
they program rightdo
wn on the bare metal. Application programming is for feebs who can'tdo
systems programming.
真正的程序员不吃蛋饼（quiche, 与高速缓存（cache）谐音 —— 李颖 注），他们吃Twinkies 和川菜。
Real Programmersdo
n't eat quiche. In fact, real programmersdo
n't know how to SPELL quiche. They eat Twinkies, and Szechwan food.
真正的程序员绝不会一次完成工作，但如果你把他们仍到机器旁，他们会在“仅仅”30小时的调试工作中写出补丁程序。
Real Programmers' programs never work right the first time. But if you throw them on the machine they can be patched into working in "only a few" 30-hour debugging sessions.
真正的程序员不用COBOL，COBOL是小孩用的。
Real Programmersdo
n't write in COBOL. COBOL is for wimpy applications programmers.
真正的程序员不FORTRAN，FORTRAN是给思想混乱的家伙们用的。
Real Programmersdo
n't write in FORTRAN. FORTRAN is for pipe stress freaks and crystallography weenies.
真正的程序员绝不会朝9晚5的工作，如果你在早上9点看到一个程序员，那是因为他整晚没睡。
Real Programmers never work 9 to 5. If any real programmers are around at 9 AM, it's because they were up all night.
真正的程序员不用BASIC，实际上12岁之后就没人用BASIC了。
Real Programmersdo
n't write in BASIC. Actually, no programmers write in BASIC, after the age of 12.
真正的程序员不用PL/I，PL/I是给不知该用COBOL还是FORTRAN的家伙用的。
Real Programmersdo
n't write in PL/I. PL/I is for programmers who can't decide whether to write in COBOL or FORTRAN.
真正的程序员不打网球，也不进行其他任何需要换衣服的运动。登山是可以的，真正的程序员穿着登山靴等着突然有座山在他们的工作室里冒出来。
Real Programmersdo
n't play tennis, or any other sport that requires you to change clothes. Mountain climbing is OK, and real programmers wear their climbing boots to work in case a mountain should suddenly spring up in the middle of the machine room.
真正的程序员不写文档，文档是给不会看清单和对象修饰的笨蛋看的。
Real Programmersdo
n'tdo
cument.do
cumentation is for simps who can't read the listings or the object deck.
真正的程序员不用BLISS或者ADA，或者其他任何左倾的计算机语言，粗大的字体是给没记性的家伙们看的。
Real Programmersdo
n't write in BLISS, or ADA, or any of those pinko computer science languages. Strong typing is for people with weak memories.
真正的程序员只为能在将来的硬件上运行的语言制订规则。没人会相信他们能制订出某个行星上的智人（原始人的一种 —— 李颖 注）都能制订出的规则。
Real Programmers only write specs for languages that might run on future hardware. Noboby trusts them to write specs for anything homo sapiens will ever be able to fit on a single planet.
真正的程序员把70%的工作日耗在周围的琐事上，另外30%时间内做的事比一个用户一周干的还多。
Real Programmers spend 70/% of their work day fiddling around and then
get moredo
ne in the other 30/% than a user could getdo
ne in a week.
真正的程序员看到他们的汽车里程表不从99999跳到9999A而大感惊讶。
Real Programmers are surprised when the odometers in their carsdo
n't turn from 99999 to 9999A.
真正的程序员在他们的工作中追求美感；看一段破烂代码会让他们痛苦不堪。（我也是 >:--< —— 李颖 注）
Real Programmers are concerned with the aesthetics of their craft;
they will writhe in pain at shabby workmanship in a piece of code.
（以下几段与终端有关，这种史前时代的玩意恐怕大家都不太熟吧？——李颖 注）
真正的程序员会尽量保护几个某些外围设备不出故障，尤其是他们的生命线——终端。
Real Programmers will defend to the death the virtues of a certain piece of peripheral equipment, especially their lifeline, the terminal.
真正的程序员绝不用硬拷贝终端，绝不用9600波特以下的终端，绝不让终端工作在极限速度之下。
Real Programmers never use hard copy terminals, they never use terminals that run at less than 9600 baud, they never use a terminal at less than its maximum practical speed.
真正的程序员认为他们知道你问题的答案，并且很乐意告诉你答案，而不是回答你的问题。
Real Programmers think they know the answers to your problems, and will happily tell them to you rather than answer your questions.
真正的程序员不用COBOL，钱没有对象化。（此句为双关，因为COBOL不支持对象）
Real Programmers never program in COBOL, money is no object.
真正的程序员绝不会修正程序中的文本，因此这些文本只能在固定字宽的媒体上阅读。
Real Programmers never right justify text that will be read on a fixed-character-width medium.
真正的程序员只在穿拖鞋太冷的情况下才穿上布鞋，如果还是冷，就多穿一双袜子。
Real Programmers wear hiking boots only when it's much too cold to wear sandals. When it's only too cold, they wear socks with their sandals.
真正的程序员从不认为会为他们的工作得到全部报酬，但他们清楚他们创造出的价值中的每一分钱。
Real Programmersdo
n't think that they should get paid at all for their work, but they know that they're worth every penny that theydo
make.
真正的程序员记录早上第一件事和晚上睡觉前的最后一件事，之间的大段时间内记录都是空白。（好象是说从早到晚都在干一件事 —— 李颖 注）
Real Programmers log in first thing in the morning, last thing before they go to sleep, and stay logged in for lots of time in between.
真正的程序员不画流程图，流程图也是一种文档嘛！
Real programmersdo
n't draw flowcharts. Flowcharts are after all, the illerate's form ofdo
cumentation.
真正的程序员不用Mac，这种话画出各种可爱的小图片的计算机是给小孩玩的。
Real Programmersdo
n't use Macs. Computers which draw cute little pictures are for wimps.
真正的程序员不读手册，相信参考是新手和胆小鬼的特点。
Real Programmersdo
n't read manuals. Reliance on a reference is the hallmark of a novice and a coward.
真正的程序员不用COBOL，COBOL只用来取笑那些还在维护古老的工资程序的家伙。
Real Programmersdo
n't write in COBOL. COBOL is for gum chewing twits who maintain ancient payroll programs.
真正的程序员不用FORTRAN，FORTRAN是给穿白袜子的幼稚工程师们用的。他们热衷于有限元分析和核反应模拟。
Real Programmersdo
n't write in FORTRAN. FORTRAN is for wimpy engineers who wear white socks. The get excited over finite state analysis and nuclear reactor simulations.
真正的程序员不用Modula-2，Modula-2是给不知该用Pascal还是COBOL的家伙用的。
Real Programmersdo
n't write in Modula-2. Modula-2 is for insecure analretentives who can't choose between Pascal and COBOL.
真正的程序员不用APL，除非整个程序可以用一行写完。
Real Programmersdo
n't write in APL, unless the whole program can be written on one line.
真正的程序员不用Lisp，只有娘娘腔的家伙才会写括号比实际代码还多。
Real Programmersdo
n't write in Lisp. Only effeminate programmers use more parentheses than actual code.
真正的程序员才不管什么结构化程序设计，结构化程序设计是为强迫症患者设计的，他们打领带，还把削尖的铅笔仔细的排在另一张桌子上。
Real Programmers distain structured programming. Structured programming is for compulsive neurotics who were prematurely toilet trained. They wear neckties and carefully line up sharp pencils on an otherwise clear desk.
真正的程序员嘲笑浮点算法。小数点是为不会顺利思考的家伙发明的。
Real Programmers scorn floating point arithmetic. The decimal point was invented for pansy bedwetters who are unable to think big.
真正的程序员知道每一个指令的细微差别，并在程序中使用所有的指令。某些体系结构不允许执行指令指向目标指令的地址，真正的程序员才不管这种小小的限制。
Real Programmers know every nuance of every instruction and use them all in every Real Program. Some candyass architectures won't allow EXECUTE instructions to address another EXECUTE instruction as the target instruction. Real Programmers despise petty restrictions.
真正的程序员不喜欢团体开发的观念，除非，当然了，他们是头头。
Real Programmersdo
n't like the team programming concept. Unless, of course, they are the Chief Programmer.
真正的程序员不需要管理人员，管理人员有时是一种不可避免的灾难。当与数豆子的家伙、老不死的计划者及其他智力缺陷的家伙进行交易时，管理人员还是有点用的。
Real Programmers have no use for managers. Managers are sometimes a necessary evil. Managers are good for dealing with personnel bozos, bean counters, senior planners and other mental defectives.
真正的程序员无视进度表的存在。
Real programmers ignore schedules.
真正的程序员不带棕色的袋子装午餐去干活，如果自动售货机卖午餐，他们就吃，不卖就不吃。
Real Programmersdo
n't bring brown bag lunches to work. If the vending machine sells it, they eat it. If the vending machinedo
esn't sell it, theydo
n't eat it.
真正的程序员在玩冒险或耍赖游戏的时候思路要清晰一些。
Real Programmers think better when playing Adventure or Rogue.
真正的程序员用C，因为它是最容易拼写的语言。
Real Programmers use C since it's the easiest language to spell.
真正的程序员不用符号调试器，谁需要符号呢？
Real Programmersdo
n't use symbolic debuggers, who needs symbols.
真正的程序员只咒骂单调的对象。
Real Programmers only curse at inanimate objects.

to huizhang:CJ 是英文专业，看这东西不算浪费吧？另：
我的网络电话问题看了没有？给个答复吧。
李颖：好人，谢谢